If you are mildly narcissistic

and not enough people

are reading your blog

just make yourself a profile

on the dating site

every New Yorker is on

and be sure to paste a link 

to your silly website.

It helps if you’re somewhat pretty 

and mysterious.

Your friend Mr. Testosterone will guide

male fingertips to your words

you’ll see the numbers spike 

on StatCounter

at last.

I’m not making fun of my readers

I do value their opinion

especially if I like their noses

and their eyes are blue.

I might even invite them

to 3rd Ward this Friday.