I am so full of forgiveness:

nobody did

anything wrong.

I’ll stop feeding demons

that aren’t even sexy.

I refuse to compete,

I am stomping my feet,

I am 131 years old.

Pretty young for an elf,

and ready to meet

his new girl

because 

yes,

I often find her gross

but I am gross too,

regardless of what

New York boys

think.

My Italian facial muscles

are just hard to read,

and it works both ways:

tall, blonde, well-bred

blue-eyed Americans

come straight from a movie

and I have to touch them

to make sure they’re real.