I disappear 

but I do

love you, 

reader.

I’ve been doing stuff,

learning things.

I’ve been teaching Italian.

to real students and all.

I learned how to cut through metal.

Because why not.

I found out that my lover is polyamorous.

His loss.

Plus, after the initial shock

I will get used to anything 

except cockroaches.

Tomorrow I’m making felt

and a dozen other things.

New York is bipolar 

and so am I.

Beautiful and ugly,

wise and childish, 

enlightened and corrupt,

passionate and bored.

I think I love you

stupid city,

you’re teaching me 

that I can love myself.